Here’s a list of all the things bound to happen in the Super Rugby this year:

-The Sunwolves won’t win it, but the Crusaders probably will.

-Some people will moan about the All Blacks missing the first few weeks.

-Those same people will most likely also be the first to moan if those same players are over-cooked and not playing at their best come RWC.

-The opening round of matches in both SA & Australia will be as low key as our official launch was - if that’s even possible.

-Far away in a millennial-cool ad agency somewhere a very clever-dick creative-type will be flicking his own ponytail in pride at the evocative, provocative TV campaign he designed featuring a disinterested Brendan McCullum mumbling about “raising the bar, while the rest of us just shake our heads wondering how long everyone else involved had been at the bar before approving this drivel as the comp’s best possible campaign launch.

-Being RWC year, look out for the next/new Milner-Skudder to emerge from (virtually) nowhere & become a key AB for us come Japan. (We all hope so anyway).

-A TMO will make a game-changing dodgy decision at least once every weekend.

-Reknown UK rugby scribe Stephen Jones will write a withering critical piece calling SR aerial ping pong/basketball on grass and say it’s only further irrefutable evidence of the demise of Southern Hemisphere rugby.
-Whoever from this part of the world silly enough to click the bait will probably get all hot & bothered about him sharing his annual opinion.

-The Blues will improve, but then again when you’re bottom of the NZ conference anything other than last is an improvement isn’t it?

-Tana Umaga, or the franchise on his behalf, will regularly remind us how passionate he is about being Blues defence coach and how defence coaching for the Blues was always his passion. Before sooner rather than later that same passion takes him on a passionate journey overseas some place where he’ll reignite his other passion to be a head coach again.

-The Jaguares won’t win it, but the Crusaders probably will.