Congratulations Saudi Arabia. From stone cold motherless last to champion of the world! The Saudi royal family, in the space of only a few years, have won sport. On top of the dais – actually the whole dais is theirs. And the medals too! Gold, silver and bronze. And all of the known world records. And trophies.   

It’s been an impressive run from the hitherto unknown sporting demigods.   

Dedication? Training? A newfound love of competition? What has driven this kingdom to the very top of sport?  

Money.   

Nothing more, nothing less. They’ve bought their way into global sporting recognition.  

Their medieval treatment of women, immigrant workers, and the rainbow community has been conveniently brushed under a sandhill as the world of sport has clambered over themselves to secure a slice of an inconceivably large oil pie.   

It’s grotesque.   

The shameless grovelling, the oft repeated peddling of the Saudi ‘want for change’ narrative, the endless photo ops with sporting superstars and Arabian royalty, the convenient mass turning of a blind eye to the arrogant horrors of their ruling class and the shared glee as sporting bodies worldwide roll in the pigs mud of Saudi largesse is hard to accept, but easy to understand.   

People are hopelessly greedy.   

Any resistance to sportswashing has been swept away by a tidal wave of money, drowning dissent and morals as it floods plains of athletic competition.  

Congratulations Saudi Arabia, you’ve won sport. 

Just don’t expect me to stick around for the anthems and medal ceremony.