A book review in recognition of it being Movember

The book I want to discuss is A Life Less Punishing by Matt Heath.

I was asked to read the book in preparation for a podcast with Francesca Rudkin. My initial response was lukewarm – was worried it would be another celebrity self-help publication with lots of fridge-magnet quotes about loving life and being the best person you can.

I was very pleasantly surprised about how good it was. Was so good I interviewed Matt on a webinar recently that Umbrella held for Movember.

Interesting points about the book:

• Matt wrote it largely to try and help himself and sort his own life out
• Decided to read a history of world philosophy and see what he could learn – somewhat of an unconventional approach! He draws a lot on the Stoics and does a great job of explaining their philosophy of life, which is quite different to the staunch, unfeeling image often portrayed of them
• The book goes through a whole range of common emotions that men experience and discusses why we have these feelings and what do we do with them, particularly the difficult ones like shame, anger, guilt, sadness etc
• Matt is very honest about some of his own less than flattering experiences and some difficult times in his life e.g., relationship break up, death of his mum
• His level of honesty and self-reflection is itself inspirational for guys

My main takeaway points that I believe are really helpful for guys to consider in Movember:

• Give away your fantasy life – the life that you could have – your imagined life
• Instead settle and accept that you have this moment – you can learn from the past but you don’tactually live there – you live here and now so pay attention to the here and now
• You can make choices about your emotions – they’re not inevitable nor uncontrollable, although they are impacted by the past
• Get yourself an imaginary coach or guide who is setting you challenges and helping you overcome them – for those with religious tendencies this could be a spiritual guide, for those who aren’t of that persuasion choose someone you respect and look up to – matt chose Willie Apiata

I’d recommend this book to men over 40 as they’re likely to find it very relatable. I’d recommend it to men under 40 as it gives you some excellent life lessons without you having to live through them. And I’d recommend it to women who have a male partner in their lives – might give you a really good insight into what makes them tick.