A wild, bizarre, and highly entertaining media scrum took pace in Wellington yesterday, culminating with an MP saying he didn't mind swimming in other people's sewage. Yes, human waste. 

A chaotic caucus run with Labour's Ōhāriu MP Greg O'Connor.  

He was asked why Wellington's dying - with cafes closing down, etcetera:  

"There's not enough to do along that waterfront, there's been stopping things from happening. You can walk a long way there, there's no cafe, there's nowhere to actually get a coffee." 

Greg, Greg, Greg. Why don't they just put more cafes in? 

These things require business investment and a profit to be had. Could the reason there aren't enough flat whites at Queens wharf be because 1) Labour hiked minimum wage beyond affordability, 2) helped drive inflation sky high through unrestrained government spending, and 3) told everyone to stay home and out of the CBD and the office. 

So far so normal, an MP struggling to grasp the realities of running a small business. 

Here's where it all gets a bit messy - literally. He says the solution is get more people, tourists, residents, whoever, down to the waterfront and even in the water. 

A reporter kindly points out the water's often not safe for swimming due to human waste from bad pipes. 

"Are you talking about the same harbour that gets polluted when there's heavy rain due to the bad pipes?" 

"It doesn't stop people from swimming in there does it?" O'Connor replies. 

Another reporter asks, "Would you swim in the harbour if there's sewage in there?" 

"Yeah I do, I do swim in the harbour." 

Okay, so don't worry about the faeces in the water. Jump in! 

Then, here's the best part, lets' blame the journalists for reporting on the wastewater. 

"Is there a warning at the moment? I don't know." 

"No, you are allowed," one of the reporters says. 

O'Connor replies: "You are allowed, so why bring this up then? So a Wellington positive is that you can go and swim in Wellington Harbour today, is that what I'm hearing from you? Good, report that. Well done guys." 

The world according to Greg O’Connor: you can't beat Wellington on a good day. 

A good day being one with no wind or rain, no poo in your harbour, and perhaps a coffee cart down at the waterfront. 

There's a new slogan in that somewhere. Wellington - take a chance on me.