A female football coach has been left with a traumatic brain injury after being struck on the sideline at a kid’s tournament by an opposing male parent. Six weeks later, the mother of two describes the incident and calls for better safeguarding in community football.

After having to attend more than 10 hospital and doctor visits since she was attacked at a kid’s football tournament in September, a female coach is questioning why more isn’t done to safeguard volunteers at children’s sport.

The 39-year-old with 18 years of coaching experience was assaulted at a social football festival hosted by Auckland United at Keith Hay Park in Mt Roskill on September 29.

The coach was making her way to the bathroom after her ninth-grade Ellerslie AFC team secured a victory against Papakura City FC in the semifinal when she was struck from behind with an umbrella. The assailant approached her unexpectedly and knocked her unconscious.

Since the attack, she’s been dealing with persistent post-concussive symptoms, and constant tics while awaiting answers from the police, her doctors, clarity from Papakura City FC and support from the sport’s governing bodies.

A police spokesperson told the Herald an investigation into the serious assault of a woman in Mt Roskill last month is ongoing and a person is yet to be arrested and charged.

Speaking for the first time since the incident, the coach, who wished to remain anonymous, explained how the attack began.

She told the Herald that throughout the semifinal spectators were vocal and passionate. Late in the match, she called for a free kick after a rule violation from Papakura City FC where a player had passed back to their goalkeeper who picked it up.

Remembering her team was already leading 2-0 and wanting to keep the game fun, she quickly retracted her request and signalled the referee to let it go.

However, the coach believes that her initial call had intensified the atmosphere as the sideline behaviour escalated shortly after. She started receiving threatening gestures, including throat-slitting motions and verbal abuse from a man down one end of the pitch.

“We just played on and then I heard ‘Shut up’ from the sideline by the goalie and I was like, ‘What, is he talking to me? That’s weird’. I keep playing and then my parents are like, ‘[coach] he’s looking at you, he’s threatening you’. I go to the Papakura coach and say ‘Excuse me, one of your parents is threatening me’.

She said the opposition coach told her to ignore the person’s behaviour and leave it alone.

At full-time the behaviour reached an increased intensity.

“Another parent had to manhandle [the man] as he walked past our substitute bench and he was just threatening. I turned around because again, I was just so confused,” she said.

About 30 minutes after the game, a mother with her 5-year-old accompanied the coach to the bathroom from their team tent given their tension following earlier events.

The coach said on their short walk to the toilet along a concrete path, she heard the man and a woman dishing verbal abuse behind her.

“He walked right up to me and he was swinging the umbrella and goes ‘I’m gonna wrap this f***ing umbrella around your neck’.

“He told his female partner to ‘hold his bag’ while he was going to f*** me up [and] she laughed. Then he swung it like a baseball bat and hit me on my head. I must have fallen back and spun and then blacked out. Then all I heard was the mum screaming and the 5-year-old just freaked out and bolted back to where our team tent was.

“I think by then police have been called, an ambulance had been called – and I was just lying there coming to, then I just went into shock.”

A dad of the Ellerslie team told the Herald throughout the match the man had been making rude hand gestures and throat-slitting motions with his finger, but afterwards the behaviour reached another level.

“He walked past behind us [on the sideline] and then he called me into a tent to have a fight with him. So, I went into the tent with him and then all these parents had to drag him away and then their coach came over and spoke to me and said it should never have gotten that far. Later [the Ellerslie coach] was walking to the toilet and this guy attacked her.

“When the ambulance came, I walked away to look after the kids. She was out for a long time – it was at least 10 minutes,” the parent said.

An Ellerslie AFC spokesperson told the Herald: “[We] are continuing to offer support to the coach to help her return to coaching after the horrific incident at the Auckland Utd tournament, we are pleased to confirm she has taken some positive steps back to her happy place coaching young female players.”

A spokesperson for Papakura City FC told the Herald the person involved had not been identified to them.

”Our team did reach out to [the] Ellerslie admin group after first hearing of the incident with our thoughts on wellbeing.”

The mum of two was also recovering from major back surgery when the incident happened. She told the Herald how much the assault had affected her mentally and physically.

“I’ve been really unwell, I’ve got two young boys and a family, I’m a mum, I can’t work. I can hardly stay up long with the boys – I have to go lie down. I have about a good hour in me each day then I go downhill. It’s a lot on my family.”

She was grateful the incident didn’t happen around more of her team of young footballers, but she’s saddened one mum and her little daughter had to witness it.

“I’m not sure if they’ve been offered any support or counselling because it was quite traumatic and threatening.”

While the coach believes this event was an isolated incident, she asks why more isn’t being done in New Zealand to safeguard it.

“I’m concerned if this team or this parent has had other incidences during the year and it hasn’t been dealt with, then I‘m really concerned about that he’s still allowed at games.

“I haven’t heard from New Zealand Football, I haven’t heard from Papakura ... It’s almost like it’s being swept under the table.”

She said her own club, Ellerslie FC had been supportive.

“I feel disappointed I haven’t heard from Auckland United. Not that I want them to call me and say: ‘Are you all right?’ I don’t care about me, but instead maybe: ‘How are your girls? Are they all right with this situation?’

“It’s not only the welfare of keeping the kids safe, it’s also keeping them in the sport, making sure that they leave the game and they have enjoyed it. That they’re not scared to come to a game on Saturday and be fearful of a spectator’s tone of voice or yelling or be fearful of speaking up or if things are unsafe.

“This has not only impacted my family but the girls I coach and their parents. It’s a trickle-down effect that should never be happening at kids’ sporting events.”

She said one way to avoid conflict in the future might be to provide girls’ tournaments with the same resources as boys of a similar age receive. She said a teenage girl was officiating that match before the incident played out.

“The boys always have qualified referees and linesmen – just how they get better fields as well. The teenage girl should not have been left there with no support.”

She also said field marshals or support contact people at tournaments could be options as an overall authority for players, parents and coaches.

“They should have an app where if there’s something going on, people can message the admin at the clubhouse immediately and then people can come out and even just monitor the situation. They don’t have to come out and then remove the guy and make a scene – it might be just placing themselves there just to make sure something’s safe and it’s anonymous.”

An Auckland United spokesperson said they preferred not to comment, given that the matter is still under police investigation. However, they confirmed the teenager who officiated the match was a qualified club-based referee. They said the incident occurred away from tournament organisers, and once they were made aware of the incident, the club assisted post-event to the best of their ability.

Northern Region Football (NRF) chief executive Laura Menzies reiterated that the incident was “utterly shocking”.

“Everyone should feel safe at a football event, and we were disturbed to hear of both bad sideline behaviour and a coach being knocked unconscious. Assault – incidents like this are rare and completely unacceptable in any situation, let alone a junior football match.

“Under-10s festivals like this one would generally be refereed by parents and coaches, not qualified referees. It’s all about supporting players to understand and enjoy their experience playing football.

“NRF has gender equitable appointment processes for top men’s, women’s and youth competitions. [We’re] publicly committed to reaching 25% of active referees being girls and women in our Gender Equity Action Plan that we launched in August this year. Equity is paramount for us, and we will deliver this through a recruitment & retention plan for girls and women in refereeing.

“NRF has offered support to all three clubs involved through their chairs and received updates on the victim’s progress. The whole team is shocked this happened at a club football event and wishes her a speedy and full recovery.

“NRF regularly works with clubs and people involved in challenging incidents because it’s important we support volunteers in these situations, nobody wants this in our game.”

New Zealand Football declined to comment.

Bonnie Jansen is a multimedia journalist in the NZME sports team. She’s a football commentator and co-host of the Football Fever podcast, and was part of the Te Rito cadetship scheme before becoming a fulltime journalist.