• A 14-year-old is barred from school due to a custody battle, despite legal requirements for him to attend. 
• His mother has sought an order for him to attend school, asking the Family Court to override his father’s refusal to consent to school attendance. 
• The Ministry of Education has said the consent issue should not legally stop the boy attending school. 

A 14-year-old has been barred from attending school indefinitely while his parents battle over custody, despite the law requiring him to go to classes. 

His mother feels the case has highlighted problems with the Family Court’s processes, questioning why nobody was prioritising her child’s right to an education. 

Ruby, whose name has been changed to comply with automatic suppression orders, said her son’s father has refused to give consent for the boy to attend school where he currently lives, as he wants him to move overseas and live with him instead. 

She has appealed to the Family Court on three occasions to override the requirement for parental consent so the teen can attend school while the custody battle continues, but has so far not been successful. 

He has not been able to go to school at all this year. 

Meanwhile, the Ministry of Education said parental consent did not override the law, and failing to have a child between 6 and 16 enrolled in school was an offence. 

The teen wants to go to school but can't, his mum says. 

Ruby said the issues began earlier this year. She had agreed in November 2024 that her son and other child would go to live with their father overseas, as they had said that was what they wanted. 

The boy has lived in New Zealand since he was 5, and the previous custody arrangement meant he spent school holidays with his father in another country. 

“The lead up to the November [court] date he was sitting on the fence and he told his lawyer . . . by the end he said ‘okay, I will live with dad’,” Ruby said. 

“Not even two weeks later my son said he didn’t want to go.” 

On the day in January he and his sibling were due to fly out, he ran away from home to avoid being put on the plane, Ruby said. 

“He wouldn’t even get in the car, he just took off.” 

Her other child caught the flight and is now living with their father. 

Since then there have been multiple court dates, with Ruby challenging the previous agreement in order to support her son’s wishes. 

The matter is now proceeding to the High Court, but it’s not clear yet when there will be resolution, and Ruby said her son still adamantly refuses to move overseas. 

Her first application to the court in February to get her son into school was declined as the judge in that matter said her son should be moving overseas. 

The second application was also declined on the basis the father was not given enough time to respond. 

In a minute from the Family Court in mid-March, the presiding judge responded to the third application. 

“He is not attending school currently, which is a less than satisfactory position for him to be in,” the judge said. “He needs to be in school; he needs to be socialising and having contact with people his own age; he needs to be on his ADHD medication; and he needs to be learning while the appeal is dealt with. 

“It is likely to be some time yet before [the custody appeal] is heard by the High Court, even if they apply urgency to the case.” 

The judge has stood down the case to see if an agreement can be reached between the parents so the boy can be enrolled in school in the interim. 

“He is 14 and he needs to be in school. These are formative and important educational years for him and not being at school, with his peers, may have a lasting impact.” 

A date has been set for later this week for the matter to be argued. 

Ruby said Covid lockdowns had demonstrated in the past that homeschooling was not an option for her son in the meantime. 

She said she felt “powerless”. 

“You think the Family Court is there to help you, to protect you, and it’s not. The common sense just hasn’t prevailed, I’m just so shocked by that.” 

She said her son wanted to go to school and “misses his mates”, though thankfully he was able to see them outside school hours. 

The Ministry of Education’s leader of operations and integration, Sean Teddy, said parental consent “does not override the statutory requirement that all students in NZ aged between 6-16 must be enrolled in a registered school. 

“Failure to enrol sees the parents commit an offence. 

“Lawyers in the Family Court are responsible for drawing relevant law to the court’s attention and this would include the requirements of the Education and Training Act.” 

Melissa Nightingale is a Wellington-based reporter who covers crime, justice, and news in the capital. She joined the Herald in 2016 and has worked as a journalist for 10 years.