Warning: This article contains references to drug use in a clinical setting.

It was the most MDMA he’d ever taken.

He listened to music for two hours, contemplated his life and relationships, felt talkative and thought deeply about scuba diving.

But Evan* wasn’t out clubbing - he was lying on a bed in a central Auckland research facility at 8.30am one morning this year, blindfolded and next to a therapist.

 “I was nervous because I was like, ‘This seems like the worst possible place to get really high’.”

Evan is one of 32 people participating in a drug trial for Australian organisation EmpathBio, which seeks to assess a potential “rapid” new treatment for post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

An information sheet provided to participants said this is the first time EMP-01 (a form of MDMA) will be studied in humans.

After taking the drug, Evan, a young working professional who does not have PTSD, said the therapist encouraged him to not speak for a few hours and listen to music.

 “It was more than I would take anywhere else, and it was pure, pure MDMA, so there’s nothing else in it.”

Under normal circumstances, Evan is talkative and wants to relate to those around him.

“I want to hear all about your family and stuff. But she [the therapist] was like, ‘Nah, just put on the eye mask and you do your thing and I’ll do my thing, then after a bit, we can debrief’.”

The study’s main purposes, the patient document said, were to evaluate how well-tolerated the drug was, measure the levels of it in the patients’ blood and urine over time and assess the neurological and psychological effects on healthy patients.

Participants receive either a placebo or MDMA and were offered a reimbursement of either $2500 or $4000, depending on which study cohort they were in.

Twenty minutes after taking the drug, Evan was “in the zone” and felt like he was floating.

“I knew after about 20 minutes that it wasn’t the placebo. I’ve done other clinical trials before and have never known if I was [given a placebo] or not, but this was the first trial [where] I knew for sure it was not the placebo.”

He said a specific playlist was created and song changes on the playlist could interrupt your thoughts “in a good way” so people didn’t spiral on the same thought.

“The music was amazing and I was thinking about things so differently, and I was like, ‘This was not what I expected’.

“It’s like ambient orchestral music, but then every song is quite different as well.”

Before, during and after the experiment, he said they were shown images of people, and he was asked to guess what they were feeling and how much he could “feel what they’re feeling” when looking at the images.

Although he was not expecting any personal benefits, Evan felt he was able to go “inside” and gain insights into himself.

“It was almost like I just got given a really good bit of advice.”

Going into the experience, he said the therapist told him to set an intention for his high, something to put his attention towards.

“Sometimes it can be really helpful with psychedelics because, like, you can come out, you can address specific things if you put your intentions towards [them], right?”

Although Evan didn’t get the answers he was looking for, he said he had a realisation that it was “okay to not know”.

“I wasn’t expecting any psychological benefits. I think the majority of the benefits weren’t from the MDMA alone, but from the combination of guided therapeutic practices; breathwork, intention setting and discussion. MDMA just made me really open to those other tools and changed how I experience them.

“I haven’t used MDMA since the trial, but I still use a lot of the practices the therapist taught me on that trial, even just when I’m falling asleep to get in the right headspace.”

Following the trial, Evan said his perspective on MDMA, which he used to view as a “party drug”, has changed.

“Doing it by myself with no outside stimulation, it felt like nothing I had ever experienced. It was just such an inward experience, whereas MDMA is usually an outward experience.”

Evan personally did not experience negative impacts, but some of the risks listed on the patient information form included anxiety, vomiting, nausea, teeth grinding and an increased heart rate. EmpathBio did not respond to questions about the trial.

This trial comes as another MDMA trial was announced, aiming to find a way to help terminal cancer patients struggling with depressive thoughts and emotions.

University of Auckland psychological medicine senior lecturer Dr Lisa Reynolds has told the Herald she hopes that study will result in a new treatment being widely available for advanced-stage cancer patients in New Zealand within the next few years.

“This is really meaningful work because it has the potential to support people in what can sometimes be a really difficult time of their life.”

The New Zealand trial will involve around 50 participants receiving multiple sessions of psychotherapy combined with either carefully controlled doses of MDMA or a placebo, administered in a controlled and supportive therapeutic environment.

And this week, the Herald reported that following a phase-one trial of LSD microdosing by the University of Auckland’s Faculty of Medical and Health Sciences, people slept 24 minutes longer than those who didn’t.

This followed earlier findings where those who had microdosed for a period of six weeks reported improved mood, less irritability, and increased energy, creativity and connectedness, with minimal safety issues.

Researchers are looking at whether it could transform the market for treating depression. More than half a million New Zealanders take some form of antidepressant, many of which are not conducive to good sleep.

*Evan’s name has been changed to protect his identity.

Katie Harris is an Auckland-based journalist who covers social issues including sexual assault, workplace misconduct, crime and justice. She joined the Herald in 2020.