It is a tale as old as time, a couple gets engaged, and then quickly set a date to celebrate their impending nuptials in a ceremony where their loved ones play key roles.

But the tide is seemingly turning on tradition, as more couples ditch the church – and opt to elope with our biggest tourist hotspots as their backdrop.

Although there is concern some soon-to-be-married couples’ desire to keep their special day to themselves can create major tension with their nearest and dearest.

Blake Benny reports.

The more traditional folks may see the word ‘elopement’ and immediately picture a rush-job ceremony, brought on by a surprise pregnancy or parents who do not approve of a couple’s relationship.

But those working in the industry said that these days, that is far from the story for most.

Instead, the meaning of an elopement has seemingly taken a turn, from being something once viewed as sudden and secretive – to a method for couples to keep their celebration small and intimate.

Donna Dohi has owned and operated New Zealand Dream Weddings since 1999.

Her business specialises in destination and elopement weddings, offering a variety of packages - taking place anywhere from the lakeside to the top of a remote mountain.

She told Newstalk ZB demand has noticeably increased within the last six months.

Independent Marriage Celebrant, Darcie Price said she had personally experienced a rise in enquiries for smaller-style ceremonies.

She said there has been a visible increase in advertisements of elopement packages.

Most focus on New Zealand’s “destination venues”, the likes of “Queenstown, Wanaka, Lake Tekapo, and Bailey’s Farm”, Price said.

She said places like the Pacific Islands have been “doing these forever” and thinks New Zealand entrepreneurs have realised they can capitalise on that market here.

“They’ve found they can create a business out of catering to the ease and simplicity that an elopement package offers... and their idyllic and stunning locations.”

Dohi said for most couples, the choice to elope boils down to a desire to keep their big day as stress free as possible.

Her packages include organisation of every major detail; from the ceremony, photos, and flowers – right down to lodging the marriage licence.

It means couples “don’t have to worry about anything”.

“The packages have everything [the couple] need to have their wedding ceremony... which we can alter to suit their needs,” Dohi said.

As for how the big day would operate, she said in most cases it is just the couple in attendance, although they can usually cater for up to six guests.

“It’s not so much about inviting great uncles or aunties you haven’t met... it’s about the couple themselves.”

While many settle on eloping out of ease, she acknowledged cost can also play a big factor in the decision.

Dohi said some view it as a cheaper alternative than forking out for a large traditional wedding, with dozens of guests.

Price echoed the statement.

She believes newlyweds-to-be are becoming increasingly purposeful about what they spend their money on, particularly as “the cost-of-living crisis impacts every choice a person makes”.

Price said when she sees the average costs some couples spend on a wedding, it “blows her mind”.

She said some couples “may want to scale back their ceremony and have something quick and easy, so that they can splurge on the reception or go on holiday afterwards.”

Although Price noted an elopement may not necessarily be the cheaper option some would assume, with the more-upmarket packages offering things like helicopter rides to picture-perfect backdrops -- which can come at a major cost.

She believes the price tag is just one of many factors at play for the changing ways Kiwi couples are saying ‘I do’.

Covid-19 forced many couples to hit pause on their wedding plans, or adapt to smaller ceremonies with few guests, so they could tie the knot.

Price thinks the pandemic forcing intimate gatherings helped to shape the wave of couples doing away with tradition and creating a DIY ceremony.

Dohi said it is clear “times are changing”.

“The traditional weddings are going. I’m not even really getting church weddings anymore, it’s all adventure weddings.”

While the idea of getting married alone on top of snowcapped mountains is the dream for a growing number of couples, Price acknowledged some may inadvertently cause friction between their close family and friends by opting to celebrate their big day alone.

She said when couples decide to elope without their loved ones present, it can create a “missed opportunity to acknowledge the importance of family and friends”, and the role they’ve played in the couple’s lives.

“That can cause those people who have missed out to feel maybe undervalued or not appreciated... and [can] tarnish the relationship a little bit.”

Price recalled a particular couple she married who “just turned up in Whangarei” after driving two hours north, to elope on a whim.

“They were like ‘just marry us on top of this hill’.”

The celebrant provided the witnesses for the couple, who told her they had not informed anyone of their sudden plans.

“They were going to return to Auckland after the long weekend and tell people, and they weren't sure themselves how that was going to be digested by their family,” Price said.

She said colleagues in the industry have experienced first-hand the friction caused within families, when “a couple runs off to get married”.

Price highlighted another unintentional downside some encounter to a sudden elopement.

She said some couples opt to elope or have a small ceremony with minimal guests, with the intent of having what they call ‘the real wedding’ later.

Price said that can be “problematic” due to laws against having someone impersonating a marriage celebrant.

The Marriage Act of 1955 states those who knowingly and wilfully solemnise any marriage are “liable on conviction to imprisonment for a term not exceeding 5 years”.

Price said issues can also arise, when guests are falsely led to believe they are witnessing an official ceremony.

Keeping those potential problems in mind, Price acknowledged it is clear Kiwi couples are no longer confining themselves to a wedding of tradition and set roles – instead “exercising their freedom to choose”.

Blake Benny is a Christchurch-based reporter with a focus on tourism and social issues, along with general news. Blake joined Newstalk ZB in 2022, having previously studied Broadcast Journalism at the New Zealand Broadcasting School.

You can contact Blake at [email protected]