An emotional Lesley Elliott has revealed she nearly turned down her Queen's Birthday Honour.

Lesley Elliott, whose daughter Sophie was killed by boyfriend Clayton Weatherston in 2008, has been made a Member of the New Zealand Order of Merit.

She said it's strange to have such a high honour stem from such a tragedy.

"Most of the people here today are celebrating something, you know really honourable and good. And I just think it's hard to think of Sophie and why I'm here."

She's become an advocate for domestic violence prevention since her daughter's death.

She gave a simple message for a complicated problem as a mother who's seen the dangers of domestic violence.

Ms Elliott said girls in violent relationships just need to get out.

"Particularly women saying no, we're not going to put up with it. Dump them, I was always saying to Sophie just dump him, there's lots of nice guys out there."