• A woman testified about enduring abuse, including being held underwater, by her ex-boyfriend.
• The 43-year-old man faces 33 charges, including violent assaults and sexual violations, between 2000 and 2015.
• The trial, involving five alleged victims, will hear from 17 witnesses over the next three weeks.

WARNING: This article discusses allegations of sexual abuse and may be upsetting to some readers.

A woman has told a court that as her ex-boyfriend held her head underwater in a bath, she felt a sense of relaxation after allegedly enduring months of abuse at his hands.

“It felt like a dream,” she testified, saying her spirit floated above her then 16-year-old body.

“That was the day that changed me.”

That is just part of the case the Crown has brought against a 43-year-old man on trial in the High Court at Whangārei.

The judge-alone trial before Justice Rebecca Edwards involves 33 charges of violent assaults, threats to kill, rapes and sexual violation between 2000 and 2015.

The court heard over this time period, the man had relationships with five women, one after the other. One relationship lasted just five months, another resulted in marriage and all of the women had children with him.

When one relationship ended, he would enter a new one almost immediately.

“The Crown submits you will also hear a repeated theme throughout the relationships he had that when the defendant did not get his way, he would use fear and intimidation to overpower them,” Crown lawyer Geraldine Kelly said.

The first complainant was 16 years old when she met the then 18-year-old. She said the relationship quickly turned controlling.

The man allegedly demanded sex up to seven times a day, a consistent allegation from all of the women.

The following four girlfriends told police they were repeatedly sexually assaulted, with two reporting they became so worn down, they just gave in to the man’s persistent sexual demands.

“The defendant knew this and on those occasions he did not, on reasonable grounds, believe she was truly consenting,” Kelly said in the Crown’s opening.

Two of those women were distraught when they found out they were pregnant, and he allegedly threatened to kill one of them if she had a termination.

Justice Rebecca Edwards is hearing the judge-alone trial in Whangārei. Photo / Mark Mitchell

On two occasions, he allegedly forced himself on the complainants weeks after they had given birth.

“He raped her and, as a result, her stitches were torn,” Kelly said of the fifth complainant.

On Monday, the first complainant, and mother of his firstborn child, gave evidence and said within a week of meeting, he had told her he loved her and they began having sex, sometimes all day.

She recounted one night when he became jealous because she had been talking to male friends.

He stopped the car, drew a mark on the bonnet, and allegedly told her he would kill her by driving into a pole directly at that spot.

“He swerved when he got close to the power pole and I felt panic in my body.”

She said throughout the relationship they would regularly drive past the pole and he would continue to threaten to drive into it.

“I kept thinking when the day will come he was going to violently do something and take action on his really angry streak,” she said.

On one evening, the man allegedly demanded she carry out an assault on a family member with a crowbar.

He allegedly urinated in a cup, poured it on her and said if she didn’t do it, he would kill her.

When his planned assault didn’t work out, she told the court she ran a bath and just wanted to wash the urine out of her hair.

The man allegedly came into the bathroom, placed his hands around her head and held her under the water.

“I felt relaxed for once. It felt like a dream. I saw my body lifted up and I looked back, like this, and I could actually see my lifeless body in the bathtub with my purple and blue lips,” she recalled.

She said the next thing she recalled was her ex-partner allegedly panicking, slapping her and yelling at her to breathe.

She said her lips remained blue and she was too scared to seek medical attention.

“He said that it would never happen again, that he loved me but, no, the violence didn’t stop that day,” she told the court.

Defence lawyer Martin Hislop went through various alleged assaults with the complainant, including one where she was allegedly thrown off a deck.

When the ambulance was called, she told them she had fallen off the couch.

“I told her that was the story cause he made me keep that story,” she said.

“What was discussed at the hospital was correct, you did fall off the couch?” Hislop questioned.

“I didn’t fall off the couch, he assaulted me that day,” she said.

The woman had a child with the defendant and Hislop suggested she had fabricated the allegations over custody agreements.

Hislop put it to the woman that she had started communicating with the other ex-girlfriends in an effort to “gang up on him”.

“You wanted her to be a part of the ex-wives group?” Hislop asked her.

“No, I didn’t need anybody’s help to be here. I’m just trying to do what’s right,” she responded.

The judge-alone trial will call 17 witnesses over the next three weeks.

FAMILY VIOLENCE

How to get help: If you're in danger now: • Phone the police on 111 or ask neighbours or friends to ring for you.• Run outside and head for where there are other people. Scream for help so your neighbours can hear you.
• Take the children with you. Don't stop to get anything else.
• If you are being abused, remember it's not your fault. Violence is never okay.
Where to go for help or more information:• Women's Refuge: Crisis line - 0800 REFUGE or 0800 733 843 (available 24/7)
• Shine: Helpline - 0508 744 633 (available 24/7)
• It's Not Ok: Family violence information line - 0800 456 450
• Shakti: Specialist services for African, Asian and Middle Eastern women and children.
• Crisis line - 0800 742 584 (available 24/7)
• Ministry of Justice: For information on family violence
• Te Kupenga Whakaoti Mahi Patunga: National Network of Family Violence Services
• White Ribbon: Aiming to eliminate men's violence towards women.
How to hide your visit:If you are reading this information on the Herald website and you're worried that someone using the same computer will find out what you've been looking at, you can follow the steps at the link here to hide your visit. Each of the websites above also has a section that outlines this process.

Shannon Pitman is a Whangārei-based reporter for Open Justice covering courts in the Te Tai Tokerau region. She is of Ngāpuhi/ Ngāti Pūkenga descent and has worked in digital media for the past five years. She joined NZME in 2023.