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Are you eating your Weet-Bix wrong?

Author
Chris Marriner,
Publish Date
Thu, 16 Jan 2025, 3:07pm

Are you eating your Weet-Bix wrong?

Author
Chris Marriner,
Publish Date
Thu, 16 Jan 2025, 3:07pm

A debate has erupted online over the correct way to eat Weet-Bix, with an Australian seeking public submissions on whether he or his wife were correct.

“Ok weetbix kids, help sort an argument for me and wifey,” the man wrote on Reddit.

“I run my weetbix vertically, which optimisers each bix' access to milk this ensuring a more balanced texture across the dish.

“She runs hers flat, like a psycho. Thoughts?”

He shared two photos showing both options, one with four Weet-Bix standing next to each other and the next showing them stacked across each other.

Which way do you enjoy it?Which way do you enjoy it?

“Look since I’ve never heard of putting them vertical and it makes too much sense,” one commenter replied.

“I denounce it as heresy and witchcraft and demand you be burned at the stake. May the ghost of Harold Holt guide you to the rainbow serpent.”

“I used to stand 3 up in a mug and dump a ton of sugar on top, pour milk so all the sugar ran off and then just picked them out like hot dogs in a warmer,” said a deviant in the replies.

Some sensibly suggested that Weet-Bix could be leaned against each other or stacked first flat, then vertically.

Various other bizarre recipes were offered before the vexed subject of bowl shape and size came up.

The flatness of one’s bottom was mentioned, as was the height and width of the vessel.

And, of course, the amount of Weet-Bix consumed plays a massive part in the discussion.

These are too many variables, so the Herald grabbed a bowl and performed an unscientific and increasingly crumbly investigation, beginning with a healthy six.

Here are six Weet-Bix, stacked flat:

Six Weet-Bix fit here, perfectly.Six Weet-Bix fit here, perfectly.

Stacking six vertically in this bowl is impossible:

Only five will fit if vertical.Only five will fit if vertical.

Unless...:

Unless you start stacking vertically. This is obviously silly.Unless you start stacking vertically. This is obviously silly.

The Herald fit 9 here by stacking them vertically on their ends. Even sillier.The Herald fit 9 here by stacking them vertically on their ends. Even sillier.

Innovation in Weet-Bix architecture may only be bounded by imagination, at least before milk tests the structural integrity of our fibrous whare.

This design allows for 13 Weet-Bix to be consumed, but you might receive a rates bill for its construction.This design allows for 13 Weet-Bix to be consumed, but you might receive a rates bill for its construction.

Of course, the amount and temperature of milk added will change things again so it is necessary to consult a higher authority.

While generations of Kiwis have been raised on Weet-Bix, they do have some particularly famous and notoriously hungry advocates.

So this reporter prepared a bowl of flatly-stacked Weet-Bix and set about reviewing video evidence of how the All Blacks eat their Weet-Bix.

The demands of promoting healthy eating mean that the majority of Weet-Bix advertisements show the addition of various chopped fresh fruit, which is obviously a niche activity.

But despite this, the Herald was unable to find any examples of All Black stacking their Weet-Bix in perfect verticals, which settles this argument for good.

Who is arguing with these two?Who is arguing with these two?

Chris Marriner is an Auckland-based journalist covering trending news and social media. He joined the Herald in 2003 and previously worked in the Herald’s visual team. He approves of vertical Weet-Bix stacking in theory but believes it to be unworkable in practice.

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