Warning: this article discusses sexual assault and may be distressing for some readers.

Amber Waghorn’s early years were destroyed by the sexual abuse she suffered at the hands of her stepfather. She felt like a toy for men to play with and was shunned by her mother who was jealous of her for monopolising the man’s “love”.

But Waghorn has now reclaimed her power after successfully arguing to have her name suppression lifted so she can tell her story.

Her abuser, William George Taylor, 64, heard her speak of her “harrowing” tale on Wednesday, shortly before he was jailed for “taking the innocence” from the now 42-year-old.

She was only 6 when the abuse began. It only stopped when she was removed from the family home at age 12, she told Christchurch District Court.

As a little girl while on her way to school, Waghorn would remove her underwear and hide it in the bushes or rubbish bins as it was often covered with blood or semen.

She was bullied by other children for not wearing underwear. The parents of those children would then complain to Waghorn’s mother about her lack of undergarments, resulting in further violence and sexual assault on her as punishment.

Waghorn said her mother began to turn a blind eye to the abuse, becoming “resentful and jealous” that she had stolen Taylor’s “love and attention”.

Her abuser, William George Taylor, was jailed this week when he appeared in Christchurch District Court. Photo / George Heard

A breakdown in the mother-daughter relationship later occurred as the mother refused to talk with Waghorn about the abuse until before her recent death.

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“You took away my opportunity to experience a mother’s love for someone so desperately in need of it,” Waghorn told Taylor in court.

She recalled an occasion in a supermarket where she was made to fondle Taylor’s genitals while he stood talking to someone and said she still deeply cringes when thinking back to this.

When she was 12, she was removed from her home and put into state care where she was “passed around” and subjected to further sexual abuse.

“I was shunned and cut off from my family forever ... he [Taylor] made me feel like a toy for men to be used and disregarded.”

Waghorn was the oldest of four siblings and made it her life mission to protect them, even if it meant taking extra punishment from Taylor.

Waghorn said the sexual abuse followed her into her adult relationships and affected her ability to be a mother.

She became fixated on keeping her daughter safe, never allowing her to leave home.

Waghorn suffered from post-traumatic stress disorder, panic attacks, self-harm and eating disorders. She struggled to answer the phone or to leave her house. She believed she would be on medication for the rest of her life.

For three months she lost her ability to speak and went through months of speech therapy to regain her voice. In stressful situations her muteness returns, causing her to feel silenced again.

Although going through the five-year court process has been hard for Waghorn, she said it needed to be done to help her heal.

“I needed to hold Billy [Taylor] to account to prevent anyone else from experiencing that ... I want to get some peace.”

Taylor was charged with six counts of rape, three of sexual violation by unlawful sexual connection and five of indecent assault. All charges are representative, meaning they happened more than once.

According to the summary of facts, Taylor would stay up watching TV until the rest of the family went to bed.

Once all the lights were out he would go into Waghorn’s room and bring her into the lounge and make her watch pornographic material.

He would then force Waghorn to perform oral sex on him before raping her. If someone woke during the abuse, he would hide her down the side of the couch until they left.

Most days Waghorn would be in trouble with Taylor and as punishment he would take her to the shed, lock the door and shut the curtains before raping her.

Afterward, he would send her off to play in the paddock with her brothers, warning: “don’t f***ing tell anyone. Don’t tell your mother. Keep your mouth shut.”

Taylor would also go into Waghorn’s room at night and sexually violate her. She began sleeping under her bed to make it difficult for him to access her.

But Taylor would “drag” her out by whatever limb he could find in order to commit his deviant acts.

He would make Waghorn perform oral sex on him while she was alone in the bath and again while out collecting firewood.

On a trip to Dunedin, he pulled the car over and raped Waghorn. She said this happened more than once on the trip.

Crown Prosecutor Jade Lancaster said there wasn’t much more she could add to Waghorn’s “powerful” victim impact statement and pushed for a starting point of at least 17 years’ imprisonment.

She said the offending was incredibly serious and Taylor has shown no remorse for his actions. He also had a previous conviction for sexual offending for which he had spent time in prison.

Taylor’s lawyer said just because his client was not expressing remorse it did not mean he was not remorseful.

He now suffers ongoing health issues, such as problems with his heart and diabetes, which would likely shorten his life.

Judge Mark Callaghan said Taylor’s “harrowing” abuse against Waghorn was for his own personal gratification and has had “devastating” effects on her.

“You have shown little remorse as far as I can see for your actions and you’re more concerned for your own wellbeing and your partner than that of your victim,” the judge said.

He gave Taylor discounts for his guilty plea, his age and his ill health, arriving at an end sentence of 10 years and four months’ imprisonment.

Taylor will have to serve at least five years before he can apply for parole, marking the severity of the offending.

Judge Callaghan granted Waghorn a protection order against Taylor and lifted her automatic name suppression at her request so she could share her story.

Waghorn became emotional as the judge made his final orders and Taylor was taken away to begin his sentence.

“Thank you, thank you,” she said to the judge between tears.

-Emily Moorhouse, Open Justice

SUICIDE AND DEPRESSION

Where to get help:• Lifeline: 0800 543 354 (available 24/7)• Suicide Crisis Helpline: 0508 828 865 (0508 TAUTOKO (available 24/7)• Youth services: (06) 3555 906• Youthline: 0800 376 633• What’s Up: 0800 942 8787 (11am to11pm)• Depression helpline: 0800 111 757 (available 24/7)• Rainbow Youth: (09) 376 4155• Helpline: 1737If it is an emergency and you feel like you or someone else is at risk, call 111.

SEXUAL HARM

Where to get help: If it's an emergency and you feel that you or someone else is at risk, call 111. If you've ever experienced sexual assault or abuse and need to talk to someone, contact Safe to Talk confidentially, any time 24/7: • Call 0800 044 334 • Text 4334 • Email [email protected] • For more info or to web chat visit safetotalk.nz Alternatively contact your local police station - click here for a list. If you have been sexually assaulted, remember it's not your fault.

FAMILY VIOLENCE

How to get help: If you're in danger now: • Phone the police on 111 or ask neighbours or friends to ring for you. • Run outside and head for where there are other people. Scream for help so your neighbours can hear you. • Take the children with you. Don't stop to get anything else. • If you are being abused, remember it's not your fault. Violence is never okay. Where to go for help or more information: • Women's Refuge: Crisis line - 0800 REFUGE or 0800 733 843 (available 24/7) • Shine: Helpline - 0508 744 633 (available 24/7) • It's Not Ok: Family violence information line - 0800 456 450 • Shakti: Specialist services for African, Asian and Middle Eastern women and children. • Crisis line - 0800 742 584 (available 24/7) • Ministry of Justice: For information on family violence • Te Kupenga Whakaoti Mahi Patunga: National Network of Family Violence Services • White Ribbon: Aiming to eliminate men's violence towards women. How to hide your visit: If you are reading this information on the Herald website and you're worried that someone using the same computer will find out what you've been looking at, you can follow the steps at the link here to hide your visit. Each of the websites above also has a section that outlines this process. -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

ANXIETY

Where to get help: • LIFELINE AOTEAROA: 0800 543 354 (0800 LIFELINE) or free text 4357 (HELP) (available 24/7) • SUICIDE CRISIS HELPLINE: 0508 828 865 (0508 TAUTOKO) (available 24/7) • YOUTHLINE: 0800 376 633 • NEED TO TALK? Free call or text 1737 (available 24/7) • KIDSLINE: 0800 543 754 (available 24/7) • WHATSUP: 0800 942 8787 (1pm to 11pm) • DEPRESSION HELPLINE: 0800 111 757 or TEXT 4202 • NATIONAL ANXIETY 24 HR HELPLINE: 0800 269 4389