Warning: This story includes details of sexual offending that may upset some readers.

A teenage girl was sexually violated by her older brother after he plied her with drugs and alcohol during a Christmas trip to his home.

Every day since, she has wanted to die.

Now, the man who shattered his sister’s life and tore apart his family has been sent to prison and registered as a child sex offender.

He had initially been charged with rape, but later admitted a lesser charge of unlawful sexual connection with a person under 16, plus other charges linked to his supplying the victim with alcohol and drugs.

It saved the victim from having to give evidence at a trial, Judge Stephen Harrop said during sentencing in the Nelson District Court last week.

He also described the offending as none other than incest.

The victim, who was not in court for the sentencing, said in her victim impact statement that for a long time she had felt it had been her fault and had asked why her brother, now in his early 20s, had thought it was okay to do what he did.

When Judge Harrop summarised her statement, he told the defendant: “If there was a short way to tell you how much this has affected her, she would say she wished you had killed her afterwards”.

She wrote that she would have preferred dying over losing the brother she had loved and who had betrayed her in such a way.

“She misses you and hates you, and wanted to die every day. It felt like she was slowly dying,” Judge Harrop read from her statement.

He said the extent of damage caused was evident in the mother’s statement.

The woman said no words existed that spoke of the canyon left in her heart and body.

“You damaged my baby. You have changed her pathway in life, and your younger sister who tried to help,” she said.

The defendant, whose name is suppressed to protect the victim and wider family, was homeless and living in a tent and had been cut off by his family.

Defence lawyer Tony Bamford said in arguing for a sentence other than prison, the personal loss was the greatest penalty a young man in his situation could ever suffer.

Crown prosecutor Jeremy Cameron said in asking the court to refrain from focusing on any latent drug or alcohol problem that the defendant’s conscious decision to disinhibit himself in such a way did not reduce his moral culpability.

Cameron said a key defining feature was the relationship between the pair and the breach of trust.

A family torn apart

In December 2023, the victim travelled to Nelson with family to visit the defendant and another sibling over Christmas.

On December 23, the victim and her younger sister were alone with the defendant in his house when he offered the victim cannabis.

He then got a bottle of spirits from the fridge, which was a quarter full, and the pair had several shots until the bottle was finished, the summary of facts said.

The defendant then got more alcohol, which he offered to the victim, before she lay down to rest on her mattress in the defendant’s room.

The summary said the victim was so affected by alcohol and cannabis that she had difficulty recalling what happened next.

The younger sister heard what was happening in the room and “covered her ears and cried”.

She messaged another sibling, who told her to go into the room.

The younger sister’s attempt to go into the room interrupted what was described as sexual activity.

The other sibling arranged for a friend to pick up her sisters, as the defendant disposed of the sheets in a rubbish bin outside a supermarket.

No explanation

On December 26, the victim’s mother went to the police. A medical examination and police interview followed.

In February 2024, the defendant turned up voluntarily at the Nelson Police Station, where he admitted supplying cannabis and alcohol to his sister and that they were both intoxicated.

He also admitted to having a sexual connection with her, but that it was “consensual”.

Judge Harrop said that the victim was in no way capable of consent.

“There’s no suggestion you did this to achieve a sexual goal; it was, however, highly relevant.

“You rendered her intoxicated and vulnerable.”

The judge accepted that the defendant was remorseful, but there was little to explain why he had done it.

From a starting point of four years in prison, the defendant was awarded credit for his guilty pleas, plus further credit for his youth and ability to rehabilitate.

Judge Harrop acknowledged that prison would be “very difficult” and counter-productive for a young person, but in weighing the gravity of the offending, he was satisfied such a sentence was appropriate.

The defendant was sentenced to two years and two months’ imprisonment on the charge of unlawful sexual connection.

He was sentenced to one month in prison, to be served concurrently, on the charge of supplying cannabis, and was convicted and discharged for supplying alcohol to a minor.

The defendant’s partner could be heard sobbing outside court as he was handcuffed and led away to begin his sentence.

SEXUAL HARM

Where to get help:If it's an emergency and you feel that you or someone else is at risk, call 111.If you've ever experienced sexual assault or abuse and need to talk to someone, contact Safe to Talk confidentially, any time 24/7:
• Call 0800 044 334
• Text 4334
• Email [email protected]
• For more info or to web chat visit safetotalk.nz
Alternatively contact your local police station - click here for a list.
If you have been sexually assaulted, remember it's not your fault. Safe to talk - He pai ki tekōreroSafe to talk - He pai ki te kōrero Sexual Harm. Do you want to talk? (2 MB) https://safetotalk.nz/ New Zealand PoliceNew Zealand Police Find Police stations by map New Zealand Police

Tracy Neal is a Nelson-based Open Justice reporter at NZME. She was previously RNZ’s regional reporter in Nelson-Marlborough and has covered general news, including court and local government for the Nelson Mail.