The man shot dead by police during a tense stand-off in Wellington on Tuesday was a good person who struggled with alcohol, his cousin said. 

The Herald can now name Sam Fakalago as the person who was fatally shot in Newlands after police were called to a Kingsbridge Place property for a family harm incident. 

Police said Fakalago threatened officers and attempted to barricade himself inside the house with a knife to the throat of a woman inside the property. 

After trying to speak with Fakalago police fired several shots into the home, critically wounding him. 

Acting Wellington District Commander Inspector Tracey Thompson said officers at the time were "gravely concerned" for the safety of the woman in the property. 

She suffered non-life-threatening injuries and a child at the property, who escaped from the house before the shooting, was physically unharmed. 

Fakalago's cousin, who did not want to be named, said he was a man who loved his kids. 

Police at scene of yesterday's shooting on Kingsbridge Place in Newlands. Photo / Mark Mitchell 

He had been visiting his family before heading back up to Auckland where he was attending rehab, he said. 

• Fatal police shooting - child's escape as man held knife to woman's throat

"He was really trying to just stay off the alcohol and get a job and that, just to support his kids. 

"He gets carried away when he's drunk." 

The cousin was "gutted" to hear how Fakalago had died, and said he'd try to do everything he could to help the children left behind. 

He said negative commenters on social media didn't know him. 

"Know him before you actually judge him ... he's pretty much my little brother, eh." 

Acting Wellington District Commander Inspector Tracey Thompson. Photo / Mark Mitchell. 

Fakalago has few immediate family members in Wellington, but had "heaps of boys that love him". 

He was associated with the King Cobras gang "but that doesn't mean s***". 

He said Fakalago's other loved ones were "in shock". 

Another friend said it had been an emotional rollercoaster since Fakalago died. 

He was strongly critical of the police response. 

"Why'd you have to shoot eight times? That's what's really frustrating and hurting." 

He believed the police had other options available to them. 

"His six children are growing up without their father at their side," he said.

Police at the cordon last night. Photo / Mark Mitchell 

"Those children have lost their father ... due to the police approaching the situation in the wrong way. That's what I personally believe, and I'll stick with that." 

Police have released few details on the shooting, citing the ongoing investigations into the incident. 

Thompson reiterated several times during a press conference on Wednesday that police had held grave concerns for the safety of the woman, which was why they chose to shoot Fakalago. 

"This is not the outcome anyone involved yesterday wanted." 

If you're in danger now: 

• Phone the police on 111 or ask neighbours of friends to ring for you.
• Run outside and head for where there are other people.
• Scream for help so that your neighbours can hear you. 
• Take the children with you. 
• Don't stop to get anything else. 
• If you are being abused, remember it's not your fault. Violence is never okay 

Where to go for help or more information: 

• Shine, free national helpline 9am- 11pm every day - 0508 744 633 www.2shine.org.nz
• Women's Refuge: Free national crisis line operates 24/7 - 0800 refuge or 0800 733 843 www.womensrefuge.org.nz
• Shakti: Providing specialist cultural services for African, Asian and middle eastern women and their children. Crisis line 24/7 0800 742 584 
• It's Not Ok: Information line 0800 456 450 www.areyouok.org.nz