Warning: This story deals with sexual abuse. 

A possessive abuser left his “friends with benefits” casual sex partner “paralysed in fear” after making explicit videos of her while she slept and threatening her life when she would not agree to be his girlfriend. 

Her son says the effects of the sexual abuse were so bad, she could not go to work, resulting in financial suffering so bad she nearly lost her family home of decades. 

“Mentally and emotionally my mother is a ticking time bomb,” he told the Rotorua District Court.  

Now her high-risk abuser, David Wiari Wehi, 51, has been jailed for more than four years.  

Wehi appeared in court on Friday before Judge David Cameron after previously pleading guilty to three charges of sexual violation by unlawful sexual connection, two of indecent assault, one of threatening to kill, one of attempting to pervert the course of justice and one representative charge of making an intimate visual recording. Representative means it happened more than once. 

Judge Cameron said the man began having an intimate relationship with a woman but decided he wanted more. 

One time, Wehi used his mobile phone and indicated he was going to record her sexually but she made it clear she was not “into that” and she did not consent to him making any intimate visual recordings. 

When she did not agree to a relationship, he became “possessive and persistent”. He sent her 270 text messages, a majority of which were abusive. 

She blocked him on her phone but unblocked him some time later and they had another sexual encounter. 

Wehi stayed with the woman again and she remembered going to bed wearing her nightie and underwear and going straight to sleep, without any sexual contact. She was taking sleeping pills at the time to help her sleep. 

In the morning, she woke with no underwear on and noticed her blanket was on the floor and she was only covered by a sheet. 

The following week Wehi messaged the woman again acting possessive and angry. He sent her videos and photographs of him sexually abusing her while she slept. 

The woman had no memory of what happened and did not consent to it or to it being videoed. Police later found several other videos on Wehi’s phone of him sexually abusing the woman while she slept. 

Wehi threatened to send the videos to her friends and put them on Facebook. He also made threats to burn down her house, kill her and throw her body in a hotpool. 

After he was arrested and while in prison on remand, he posted her a letter apologising for his behaviour and telling her he would give her $10,000 if she dropped the charges. A second letter offering $20,000 to do the same thing was intercepted by the prison. 

Victim’s son faces abuser 

The victim could not bring herself to attend court but instead her son read a victim impact statement. 

In it, he said his mother was fearful of Wehi’s release because he knew where they lived and believed he would one day carry out his threats. 

The man said his mother was clear with Wehi about their relationship and he was never her boyfriend. 

“It was not a relationship. It was friends with benefits.” 

Previously a “social butterfly”, the man said his mother’s anxiety got so bad, she could not go to work because she felt everyone knew she had been sexually abused. 

He described her as becoming “crippled” with social anxiety. She also could not go out in public and had to get family members to do things like go to the supermarket for her. 

“She feels powerless. He made her feel like a piece of meat. Like a helpless little lamb caught up in barbed wire.” 

He said given she had no income, she became behind in her bills and they nearly lost their home. 

The judge’s decision 

Judge Cameron said aggravating factors in the case included Wehi’s previous convictions spanning from 1990 to 2022 that included breaches of protection orders, male assaults female and intentional injuring. 

He was described by a pre-sentence report writer as being a high risk of re-offending and was minimising his offending by blaming the victim, claiming she was seeing other men. 

The report writer also noted the man admitted he was a methamphetamine user. 

Judge Cameron gave 25% discount for Wehi’s guilty plea and a further 5% reduction for remorse because of his letter to the court. 

The end sentence on the sexual violation charges was four years, two months and two weeks imprisonment. He was sentenced to six months’ on each of the other charges, to be served concurrently. 

Sexual harm: Where to get help 

If it’s an emergency and you feel that you or someone else is at risk, call 111. 

If you’ve ever experienced sexual assault or abuse and need to talk to someone, contact Safe to Talk confidentially, any time 24/7: 

-Call 0800 044 334 

Text 4334 

-Email [email protected] 

-For more info or to web chat visit safetotalk.nz 

Alternatively contact your local police station - click here for a list. 

If you have been sexually assaulted, remember it’s not your fault. 

Kelly Makiha is a senior journalist who has reported for the Rotorua Daily Post for more than 25 years, covering mainly police, court, human interest and social issues.