Warning: this article discusses domestic violence and may be distressing for some readers.

“You were supposed to be the one who protected me but instead you became the person I needed protecting from.”

That was what a woman tearfully told her abusive ex-partner in court today after his extreme “trust issues” saw him assault her when she denied him access to her social media.

The Christchurch District Court heard how the woman’s nine-month relationship with Nico Wessels, 35, has left her suffering from panic attacks.

 “I became a prisoner in my own home, a prisoner to your abuse, manipulation and paranoia ... you isolated me and abandoned me repeatedly,” she said in an emotional victim impact statement.

The woman said she knew as soon as she met him she was going to fall in love with him but when his trust issues became apparent she began to fear for her safety.

She had to change her life to appease Wessels’ “paranoia”, including by enabling her location on her phone so he could see where she was, sending photos of who she was with and what she was doing.

The woman feared the consequences if she didn’t respond fast enough to his messages.

 “I adored you, I loved you and welcomed you into mine and my daughter’s home ... you promised me a future that you didn’t allow me to have.”

The court heard that after Wessels and his partner separated on February 2 last year he was served with a protection order.

Two days later, he arrived at his ex-partner’s house and let himself in using the sliding door, refusing to leave when she confronted him.

Instead, the woman left the house in the hope that Wessels would go but when she returned, he was still there. He then took her phone, demanding she unlock it with her fingerprint so he could look through her Snapchat.

When she refused, Wessels tried to force her hands open which she had balled into fists, in an attempt to get her fingerprint.

She fell onto the bed and rolled off the side, laying between the bed and window as Wessels stood over her and tried to prise her fists open. She kicked at him and ran away down the driveway.

Wessels followed, grabbing her face and holding it tightly while making threatening comments before leaving.

Between October 12 and 19 last year, Wessels sent his ex-partner abusive Snapchat messages and made accusations against her, which she took screenshots of and sent to police.

On the morning of November 3, Wessels again went to his ex-partner’s house despite the protection order still being in force against him.

Wessels knocked on the bedroom window several times and then spoke to the woman through the window when she got up and opened the curtains.

He became angry and accused her of being a police informant before trying to open the window which had a safety lock on it.

The woman called police but Wessels had left before they arrived.

He was charged with burglary, attempting to access a computer system without authorisation, assault and two counts of contravening a protection order.

At his sentencing, Wessels attempted to talk to his ex-partner who sat in the public gallery supported by two friends.

His lawyer Aja Trinder said he was remorseful and wanted help to address his trust issues which he believed stemmed from his childhood.

Trinder asked the judge to impose a sentence of intensive supervision with judicial monitoring.

However, Judge Mark Callaghan took a different stance.

He said that Wessels’ “power and control issues” showed a complete disregard for his ex-partner’s safety.

“She was very brave in reading what she says has had long-lasting impacts on her and her child and I must take that into account when imposing a penalty,” the judge said.

He gave Wessels discounts for his remorse expressed in a letter he wrote to the judge, his guilty pleas and his desire to seek help.

Wessels, who was very distressed to hear he wouldn’t be getting intensive supervision, was sentenced to two years and one-month imprisonment.

He wailed as he was taken into custody to begin his sentence.

FAMILY VIOLENCE

How to get help: If you're in danger now: • Phone the police on 111 or ask neighbours or friends to ring for you. • Run outside and head for where there are other people. Scream for help so your neighbours can hear you. • Take the children with you. Don't stop to get anything else. • If you are being abused, remember it's not your fault. Violence is never okay. Where to go for help or more information: • Women's Refuge: Crisis line - 0800 REFUGE or 0800 733 843 (available 24/7) • Shine: Helpline - 0508 744 633 (available 24/7) • It's Not Ok: Family violence information line - 0800 456 450 • Shakti: Specialist services for African, Asian and Middle Eastern women and children. • Crisis line - 0800 742 584 (available 24/7) • Ministry of Justice: For information on family violence • Te Kupenga Whakaoti Mahi Patunga: National Network of Family Violence Services • White Ribbon: Aiming to eliminate men's violence towards women. How to hide your visit: If you are reading this information on the Herald website and you're worried that someone using the same computer will find out what you've been looking at, you can follow the steps at the link here to hide your visit. Each of the websites above also has a section that outlines this process. -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

ANXIETY

Where to get help: • LIFELINE AOTEAROA: 0800 543 354 (0800 LIFELINE) or free text 4357 (HELP) (available 24/7) • SUICIDE CRISIS HELPLINE: 0508 828 865 (0508 TAUTOKO) (available 24/7) • YOUTHLINE: 0800 376 633 • NEED TO TALK? Free call or text 1737 (available 24/7) • KIDSLINE: 0800 543 754 (available 24/7) • WHATSUP: 0800 942 8787 (1pm to 11pm) • DEPRESSION HELPLINE: 0800 111 757 or TEXT 4202 • NATIONAL ANXIETY 24 HR HELPLINE: 0800 269 4389