When you're sitting outside a house where two children were callously shot dead by their father who then turned the gun on himself, you reflect and think. how did I get myself in this position?

How did I end up driving to the scene of a murder suicide at five o'clock in the morning? A drive which left me feeling lost and shocked at the world, how and why would a father do this to his own children? So at around 5.30 on the morning of January 16, I arrived at a street which has a name that paints a picture of the perfect New Zealand life: Kiwi Street. But the mood and feeling around the street was far from idyllic, with police guarding the scene, and two lone emergency vehicles nearby. At this point I thought, wow, I'm officially a media parasite.

So my morning begun sitting on Kiwi Street, trying to push out updates to a waking nation, talking to neighbours who had no idea about the chaos which had ensued on their street less than 12 hours earlier and try to be as polite to police staff while reaming going about my job. It was a weird and bemusing time. All I could think was, I don't want to be here and most of all, no one involved wants me here. So, how did we get to a point where this sleepy seaside suburb ended up as the national talking point? Why did the lives of Bradley and Ellen Livingstone get taken by their father Edward Livingstone?

The exact answer died with Edward. But we can trace the events back to the breakup of Livingstone's marriage with his former wife Katherine Webb, mother of Ellen and Bradley. Shortly after splitting up, Katherine got a protection order against her former partner. Livingstone then went on to breach the protection order twice. His behaviour was described by a neighbour of Katherine Webb as being 'obsessive', saying the way he had been acted were 'downright scary'. But when he appeared before the courts for a breach of protection order, what happened? Yes, it's easy to scorn these decisions in hindsight, but he was discharged without conviction. A man who broke a protection order twice and went on to kill his children got a slap on the wrist with a wet bus ticket.

So what do you have to do, in terms of breaching protection to earn a discharge without conviction? Well, Livingstone rang his former wife a number of times. Now this doesn't appear to be much, but as in many cases like this, it was only the tip of the iceberg. There were reports of Livingstone following his former wife around, harassing her and causing her to fear for the lives of herself and her children. Sadly all the precautions and protection order failed, he didn't keep away and Katherine Webb and her beloved children weren't kept safe. Our justice system failed her.

After incidents like this there’s always chest beating and demands to sew up the holes which caused the tragedy. The first port of call was the issue of the protection order. There were a chorus of calls for reviews to be held. With statements from the likes of Labour’s women's affairs spokesperson Carol Beaumont, "It raises many questions about how we deal with family violence and shows we need to have a serious rethink on the effectiveness of protection orders." Women's Refuge chief executive Heather Henare was another to come out swinging, saying "we need to concentrate on the fact there's a link between breaches of protection orders and domestic violence murders."

The year anniversary of these tragic murders is now only weeks away; we had the statements of horror and disgust, but what has actually happened, if anything? As it stands this double murder suicide sits as another tragic reminder of our weak protection laws. In fact earlier this year, then Justice Minister Judith Collins was on Q&A with Rachel Smalley - citing the case of Livingstone, Rachel Smalley asked the Minister whether protection orders are worth the papers they are written on. She responded with "If the person who is subject to them respects the court orders." Well Judith, these are people who are making another member of society so scared they are forced to get a court order, so ask yourself this, if your intimidating behaviour was only going to get you a slap on the wrist would you stop? It seems around 2000 people a year don't. So obviously the consequences of breaking these orders are far too weak. Please fix this and don't let these children die in vain.

Grief tends to bond communities, we've seen it on large scales with the likes of the Christchurch earthquakes and for the small settlement of St Leonards this was no different. With two young children at the school, everyone in the area was bound to be hit by this tragedy. One of the toughest elements of this for St Leonards School principal Jo Wilson was helping the pupils of her school remember their friends and deal with a new experience for many of the youngsters, grief. But the school was a key player in dealing with the tragedy. Despite it being the holidays, it opened its doors, allowing parents and children to celebrate Bradley and Ellen, as well as hosting their funerals. Coming up to the year anniversary, it is now planning a private memorial for the two children.

As I mentioned earlier, the key will be making sure something good comes from this, making sure no more mothers have to deal with living in fear of ex-partners, whose anger and lack of respect for the law make them a ticking time bomb. In the coming months, a coroner will hear the facts around what caused Edward Livingstone to do this, they will make strong recommendations. I for one hope the agencies involved take up what they have to say.

But for me, I will always remember the 16th of January as a day my heart bled for three people I never knew - Katherine Webb and her two children Ellen and Bradley. I remember when an Auckland news director gasped at me when I snapped at her while delivering content, my reply, "you're not sitting down here, outside a house with two murdered children inside." After I was finally relieved of my duties at the house, a lack of sleep and finally realising the enormity and sadness of what went down, caused me to break down. This was an absolute tragedy, but sadly one we have seen far too often in New Zealand. Jilted lovers cause far too much pain, it's time to take action on the cries for shame and to make sure we can live in a happy and safe society, void of fear and where we can place trust in the law to protect those who need it.